My Tight Rope

Being a mom is like walking on a tight rope I think.  It's a balancing act.  I'm not referring to the insane juggling of all the things that we moms have to do in a 24 hour time frame.  That is a different post all on its own.  The balancing I'm referring to is the one where I decipher how much of myself to sacrifice for the sake of my child.  Still unclear?

Ok, Reesor needs me.  He doesn't just need me emotionally.  He is still an infant and therefor needs me to survive. I know, this isn't rocket science!  But his need for my attention and 100% devotion does take a tole on Zoe-time.  The time where I can just close my eyes and focus on ME.  Or God.  Or SOMETHING other than a dirty diaper, toy mess, and teething.  Even now while I try to have some "me blogging time" I am sitting next to my child on the floor while he rummages through his diaper bag as I attempt to keep him from ingesting diaper cream.  Its never JUST me time!

I had lunch with a friend today who is a mother of FOUR.  She reminded me that I'm a new mom who is still figuring out to preserve the "Zoe Spunk" while also meeting Reesor's physical and emotional needs.  PLUS if I'm not taking care of myself, what is left for me to offer in my marriage?  I'll tell you what:  a grumpy ole hag who is tired all the time, not ever groomed, and snappy!  ;)  Not that I'm speaking from recent experience or anything.  LOL

I am coming up with a few things to help me take care of me the way I did pre-mommy.

1. one evening per week Aaron will keep Reesor and put him to bed while I go out and do whatever I want.  Maybe hang out with a friend or attend some kind of fun doula thing.  The point is that its doing something I love without needing to tend to Reesor.

2.  train for another race.  Not sure if I'm going to do a 10k or half marathon but now that the weather is better I'm going to get back into it.

3.  gonna work on my pre-pregnancy figure and try to get it back as best I can.  I know this will help me feel better about myself and I know the training will help get me there.

Hopefully with these basic things I can learn to walk that tight rope without fear of plummeting to the deep abyss below which is the unkept, unslept, unhappy wife and mommy.  :)  Now back to my screaming kiddo who has been feeling horribly neglected during the 8 minutes it took me to write this post....