Disclaimer: this entry is meant to be one of reflection and observation. It expresses personal opinions but please note that it was not written so as to be negative or judgmental. My international past has made me keenly aware of cultural trends that I am simply putting into question for my family, not yours! :)
What does the average suburban family in the United States look like? House, two cars, dog or cat (or both), 1-3 kids, home entertainment center, at least one computer, plenty (usually too many) of toys for the kids, matching furniture in every room, careers held by either one or both of the adults with fairly high priorities placed on income and status, and peers who peek into their lives making a mental checklist of what the "Jones'" do or do not have out of this list. I too am a peer so I am including myself here. And there is the unspoken rule of thumb that if you don't have each of these items by "an appropriate time in your life" then you are irresponsible, lazy, immature, or just a little odd.
What does the average suburban family in nearly all other major cities of the world look like? (I said nearly all, NOT ALL) Apartment, MAYBE a car but not usually, 1-3 kids, minimalistic furniture and toys, maybe a computer, probably a television set, and generally a slower pace of life where the goals are not money-oriented or time-oriented, but instead are friends, family, and relationship oriented. Don't get me wrong on that last part, TONS of American families put a high priority on family and relationships which is a wonderful thing!
Recently, I have found myself peeking into the "Jones'" life and wondering where Aaron and I (and Reesor) fit into each of these categories. I have to admit a hint of shame or frustration when I compare myself to the average American Family. If I compare us to the rest of the world, however, we are way ahead with our two cars, tons of baby gear (already) two laptops and big screen TV. So what is the source of this shame when I line our life up with my those of my peers? Pride? Never! ;) Of course its pride! And then there are the questions that my pride causes me to ask myself like "do we appear to be irresponsible? Do we appear to be less mature than those our age who already meet every item on the check list?" I would like to say that I'm so secure that I don't think about these things. But I do.
I LOVE my life. I LOVE not having the responsibility of owning a house and all the expenses that come with it. I have SO much to be thankful for such as my wonderful marriage and husband, strong family ties, healthy growing baby, food on the table every night, and jobs for both of us that meet our needs and, in particular, bring a lot of happiness to Aaron. So why do I compare? Why the shame? Why do I feel embarrassed to say "I am 27 years old, pregnant, married, and I live in somebody's basement apartment"? Or "most of Reesor's baby things such as a swing and basinet are loaners from friends instead of brand new from Babies R Us."
I am discovering that the answer to my insecurities and embarrassment is this one thing: God! God didn't give me the last name "Jones" did He? Nope, we are the Das'! And what works for Mr. and Mrs. Jones is not what is meant to work for us. At least not at this time. I don't believe that as the Body of Christ we are meant to sit and judge others or OURSELVES! We are to take what God has so lovingly given us, be thankful, and run with it! If that means you are 24 years old and already own a house with a lovely nest egg of $35,000 sitting in the bank and two paid for cars in the garage then be blessed and go be a blessing. If that means you live in government housing, take the bus to work, and supplement your grocery cash with food stamps then be blessed and go be a blessing. And, if like me, you are somewhere in between the two...well...BE BLESSED AND GO BE A BLESSING! Its not about who has what, its about what you do with what you have! This is a lesson I am learning daily!
