Parenthood

Well our little guy will be 6 weeks old on Saturday. Time has flown by and life couldn't be sweeter! New developments include interactive "talking" and we have gotten a few smiles out of him that were not gas-induced. :)

Sleepy Head:


Some things I have learned as a new mommy include:
-sleep is a luxury and I can survive on less of it than I thought
-if I think it will take me an hour to get out the door, better plan for two hours instead
-schedules of any sort are over-rated
-always leave the house with an extra two outfits (he spits up A LOT!)
-I'm a milk factory and will start moo-ing any day now
-be patient with Aaron cause he's learning too

Aaron reading a soccer update to Reesor:


There is so much more but those are the highlights. We also recently switched to cloth diapers (had to wait until he was 8 lbs) and that is working out nicely. Its extra work but way less $$$

Reesor in one of his clot diapers:


Had to call in a Lactation Consultant because it seems that Reesor has a tight labial and lingual frenulum which makes it hard for him to latch on properly. The boy is getting fat and happy, but at my painful expense. So we are headed to the Dr. the first week of January to have a little procedure where they will clip the tight tissues both under his tongue and between his top lip and gums. Poor little guy. :'( This should also cure any future speech impediments that can come from his condition.

Open-mouth sleeper:


In the spirit of Christmas, Aaron and I were sitting around trying to think of some Das traditions that we can implement now that we have Reesor. We have decided that every child's first Christmas gift will be a nativity set. Each year when we are decorating the house for Christmas we will reserve a special time to set up their nativity set in their room and remind each other what its all about! I'm excited to start doing this, especially once he is old enough to participate.

His Nativity Set:


And finally one of the biggest things I have learned: housework can WAIT! I pick up and de-clutter and clean and wash and put away and it feels like 5 minutes later its all a giant mess again. But mom Patrice sent me this poem and it has changed my outlook on the matter. So I'll close with this and hopefully all of you moms out there can take it in. Merry Christmas to you, be richly blessed!

Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She's up in the nursery blissfully rocking.
She said: Cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow
For babies grow up as I've learned to my sorrow
So quiet down cobwebs, dust go to sleep
For I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep

"Praise Jesus!"


Skinny legs:


Jogging with my boys:


Big Bro Dutch:

Reesor's Birth Story

I tried to keep the gorry details out but just read cautiously if you get grossed out easily. :)

Reesor Aaron Das’ Birth Story
November 12, 2011
Born at Atlanta Medical Center
6:22 PM
5 pounds, 14 ounces and 18.5 inches long
Midwife: Anjli Aurora
Doula: Que Brown



Reesor’s due date was November 17th and I was feeling anxious and ready for him to arrive. So I was more than happy when my water broke at 1:05 AM on the 12th, 5 days early! It broke in a huge gush right as I was getting back into bed from using the restroom. Aaron says I went “whoa whoa whoa! My water just broke!” He had been in a dead sleep and struggled to understand what was happening. I had a huge rush of excitement and anticipation for what the day ahead would bring! I immediately called my midwife and informed her but I had not had a contraction so she recommended that I try and get some more sleep until they started up. I also called my doula, Que, to let her know that things were getting started. After getting cleaned up a bit I tried to lay back down but the moment my head hit the pillow I had my first labor contraction. This was around 1:45 AM.

It became obvious that I would not be sleeping anymore that night and so I began to walk around the house, breathing through my contractions pretty easily for about an hour and a half. We had made plans to go to my parents house once labor was getting more intense because it is closer to the hospital and easier for my doula to get to. At around 3 AM we decided it was time to pack up and head on over to their house. My contractions were ranging from 4-10 minutes apart and lasting from 30 seconds to a full minute.

We got to my folks’ and I continued to labor with Aaron applying counter pressure on my lower back with every contraction. My contractions never got regular and were not really timeable. One of the ways we managed my pain at their house was by getting in the shower. I stood and let the hot stream hit my back until I used all their hot water and had to get out. We had called my Que to come on over to help me with ideas on pain management and she arrived at 7:30 AM. My contractions remained unpredictable and were sometimes up to 12-20 minutes apart! So she recommended I lay on my left side which, due to circulation, often causes contractions to become more intense and regular. Intense....OH YES! Regular, still no! At this point time was flying by and I was surprised at how easy my labor was. Not at all what I had heard it would be. Of course it was still early labor, but emotionally I was still pumped and felt like we would definitely be able to have the birth we had planned, un-medicated.

Meet Que:


Then Que recommended I do some stair climbing and on my third trip up I had my first active labor contraction. WOW! It was certainly more intense and when it was over she said something to the affect of “that sounded to me like you could be at 4 or 5 centimeters, how would you feel if we start packing up for the hospital?” Sounded good to me! We headed out around noon after I called my midwife to let her know we were on our way and we arrived to the hospital 35 minutes later.

They checked me in and put me on the monitor for 15-20 minutes. The exam showed that I was at about 5 cm dilated and Reesor’s heart rate looked great. So we went across the hall to our labor and delivery room where I immediately opted to get in the shower again. They put the birth ball (yoga ball/exercise ball) in the shower for me to sit on. The only problem with the shower was that it wasn’t double headed. haha I couldn’t decide if it felt better to have the water hit my back or my belly. So I opted for the belly and made Aaron give me counter pressure on my lower back with every contraction. Others tried to help with this but he was really the only one strong enough to do the job right! I was in the shower from 2-3 pm and my contractions become stronger and a bit closer together. Not evenly spread out, but definitely closer together. I began to go to a place inside for strength to get through each painful contraction but still felt energized and confident in my body’s ability to do this! It started sounding like pushing was near so they had to take me out of the shower to fill the birth tub. Meanwhile I dried off and the midwife checked for my progress: 7-8 cm!

Birth Tub:


As soon as it was ready I got in the tub and THAT is when I would say the hard work started. The contractions were still 5-7 minutes apart but were very painful. I tried screaming through a few but decided prayer was better. I know it sounds funny but praying silently through my contractions calmed me and brought a beautiful hush to the room. I knew God had made women capable of delivering His miracles into this world and I was still up for the task. I should note here that at this point all the women of the family were gathered around the tub: Patrice my mom, Jill my sister, Que my doula, Elizabeth my mother-in-law, and my grandmother. And OF COURSE my husband was there the entire time. I was in for about 45 minutes before I decided to try a little push. I never felt the strong urge to push like many women say they get but my contractions were so difficult to get through that I wanted to start the process. I discovered that I could in fact push and so Que called the nurse over. She checked me and told me the head was very close and that I had to wait and push until the midwife returned. LONGEST 10 MINUTES OF MY LIFE! Finally she got there and the work began at 4:25 PM

Meet Anjli:


Labor:




We tried different positions for pushing. First reclined and then squatting on my knees. Neither of these seemed to really be making much progress. My pushing contractions never got closer than 5 minutes and were up to 8 minutes apart. This made for a long process because we had to wait so long in between pushes. I became very fatigued after 16 hours of labor and started to truly believe I wouldn’t be physically able to deliver Reesor. The lack of progress with my pushing was very frustrating for me and I remember constantly needing encouragement that I wasn’t a “bad pusher”. Anjli decided to try one more thing: they tied a sheet around one of the handles of the tub and I sat in a reclined position where I could grab the sheet end in front of me and pull on it for counter strength. And THAT was the beginning of the end, FINALLY! After almost two hours of pushing Reesor’s head crowned. We waited and waited for another contraction to come so I could finish pushing him out. Anjli kept checking his heart rate and I could tell she was concerned that he would go into distress. I got tired of waiting for bad news and for another contraction so I just gave it my all without a contraction and out he came at 6:22 PM!

He's HERE:


The umbilical cord was wrap around his neck, under his armpit, and around his torso. Anjli twisted him out of it and he was placed on my chest. PURE RELIEF! He started squeeming a bit and it was obvious he was doing great. I was in awe of what had happened and just couldn’t take my eyes off of him while they checked his vitals and Aaron cut the cord. It wasn’t an instand “connection” (yet) but rather a state of shock at what had just come out of me...a HUMAN! After a few minutes we let daddy hold him while they got me out of the tub to deliver the afterbirth and stitch up my first degree tear. I got to nurse him immediately after that and he latched right on! My little champion! The rest is history!

Some funny things I said while in active labor and during pushing:
Que: “listen to your body” Zoe: “my body is telling me to DIE!”
Anjli FINALLY got to the room so I could push. Zoe: “I thought you went to India for a freakin visit!” (her family is from India)
When he was crowning and they commented on his thick hair. Zoe: “I won’t sue you if you just pull him out by his hair!”

So even in the throws of labor its ok to have a sense of humor! I wouldn’t have had it any other way despite the intense pain and hard work. 17 hours of labor is no joke but pales in comparison to the joy of having Reesor Aaron Das in my life! That “connection” came that night as I took care of him and nursed him, memorizing each wrinkle on his face and in awe of each coo that came from his mouth. WE had done it and I was SO PROUD to be his mom.

Das Trio:

Confessions of (an impatient) First-Time-Mommy-Over-Achiever

Just as I have a need to control the many details of preparing for once he's here, I also have this deep desire to control when he arrives. There isn't a particular day when I want him to enter, its more like....NOW! haha I have hit that stage that most expectant mothers arrive at: the "I'm SO over it" stage! Now I really have so little to complain about as I sit around here very late in pregnancy. I'm full term and still really not horribly uncomfy. I have had little to no swelling, little backpain (which I attribute to my AMAZING chiropractor), I am still able to walk my mile per day, I am still able to work easily, and I just have some minor discomfort which they so lovingly and deceivingly call "pressure".

SO, why the impatience for him to get here? Well, I'm just over it. It's like waiting for a long-awaited package to arrive in the mail. Every day you check your mail box and walk way with nothing but bills and coupons to some hardware store that you know will just get trashed. You can't control the mail system and it just completely irks the crap out of you. Well, I can't control my bag of water, my cervix, OR Reesor. Yes yes, laugh it up....I will never be able to control Reesor, I know I know. I should practice "letting go" now shouldn't I? I know that too. I should embrace these last days of sleeping in (or sleeping at all) and of the freedom to just zoom around from place to place without a car seat to lug, baby to feed, or diaper to change. I know this too.

But the "I'm OVER IT" stage has hit and try as I may to relax and embrace it I still find myself googling "pressure points to induce labor", taking the max of Evening Primrose Oil, looking to see when the next full moon is (it's next week by the way), and making plans with Aaron to eat at Scalini's Italian Restaurant where they are known for putting women into labor with the eggplant parmesan. Then there are the other "unmentionables" that would embarrass the heck out of you if I were to write them out. Go ahead, keep rolling those eyes cause I'm doing it too. I'm just ready to meet my little guy, let his tiny fingers curl around his daddy's and yes, even get up with him every two hours for a feeding.

So there it is, more confessions. Don't judge me people, don't judge.

Ripenning...

This is so completely fascinating...

God is pretty darn cool! This will be short and all you veteran moms out there who have gone full term in pregnancy will probably get a kick out of my "virgin version" of this but I just can't help but blog about it...

For the past 3 days now (including today) I have been getting very strong contractions/pre-labor pains/braxton hicks/false labor. LOL I use all those terms cause that's the various ways different folks describe it. Anyways, the reason its so cool is because I can literally watch my entire belly tighten immensely as if I were flexing (like I could do THAT at this point!). It gets so tight in fact that you can see a fairly detailed outline of Reesor.

Its only painful if it happens while I'm standing or walking so I'm making a point these days to stay seated or lying down quite a bit. I know this can go on for weeks but I'm just fascinated by how God set everything up to prepare both my body and the baby for the miracle of birth. Nifty!

Maybe my next post will include a picture of my child (not in-utero) :) Meanwhile, unless you are super easily offended, check out this cute cartoon:

Confesions of a First-Time-Mommy-Over-Achiever

I have recently diagnosed myself with what I'm calling "First-Time-Mommy-Over-Achiever Syndrome". It is exactly what it sounds like: the first-timers who feel the need to go above and beyond what is necessary to prepare for the arrival of the peanut.

I blame this on two things:
First, a veteran mom doing this for the 2nd or more time already has other little feet to chase around and can't dedicate as much time over-thinking every insignificant detail. Plus she knows how to do most of it already and doesn't need to spend hours researching all the how-to's.

Secondly, my deep deep DEEP need to be prepared for every possible and unlikely situation and scenario and the need for each of those unlikely situations and scenarios to end up perfect and well-managed. :) I tell others I'm just trying to be responsible and then I go off in a corner and roll my eyes at myself because I know I'm a planner to the core. haha

So here's what's on the list of over-achieving things I have done to prepare for Reesor:
1. His room is done and has been mostly done for quite some time (I still have a supposed 4 weeks to go). I ordered his crib when I was like 20 wks prego and we had it assembled and ready by 24.

2. All of his clothes have been laundered for weeks now and are organized and ready for use.

3. Part of my workout/yoga routine is "meditating" on all the possible outcomes for my labor and delivery process. This includes but isn't limited to water birth, early labor, late labor, short labor, long labor, un-medicated labor, c-section, early induction and blablablablabla. My need to be emotionally and mentally prepared for each one is high on my list of priorities. Sick, I know.

4. And here's the winner folks: I went to my local fire department and did a one-on-one with an instructor on how to properly install the car seat we bought Reesor (which we also bought like 3 months ago). Now you may laugh at me for doing the consult but I learned a lot! I feel like Reesor is going to be as safe as can be no matter what vehicle he's riding in. As a warning to all my friends and family who's vehicles will one day carry Reesor, you can expect a full "talkin-to" regarding his safety when the time comes.

So there ya have it. This has been Confesions of a First-Time-Mommy-Over-Achiever Syndrome and you can look forward to more reflections on the matter.

My choice, or is it?

In a quick update it seems that I have started to have false labor at night. AKA Braxton Hicks or pre-labor pains. It is quite interesting and uncomfortable but I'm always reminding myself "its not as bad as the real deal so suck it up!" heehee Aaron and I are finishing up the nursery with some last-minute wall decor and we are headed for a little "babymoon" next weekend to a lake house for one last no-baby getaway. After that there will be nothing left to do except attend my weekly Dr. apts and try and relax.

As I finish up this phenomenon called pregnancy I'm fascinated (and disturbed) by some of the things I'm dealing with. Namely, the reactions to our decisions in the medical realm. I've been shopping for a pediatrician and think it sad that there are so many out there who will flat out refuse to see you if you don't vaccinate. I'm not here to argue as to why we are choosing to not vaccinate so please, lets not ruffle the feathers with this blog. But I do think that if we have done our research, our due diligence, and have come to the educated and personal decision of not vaccinating that our wishes should be respected and that we shouldn't be refused medical care. I did find a Doc that will take care of our little guy but not before being told by a different Doc NO! Interesting.


Another interesting and VERY TOUCHY subject amongst doctor's and my peers is the idea of a natural or un-medicated birth. When I was about 15 weeks pregnant I made the decision that I would like to plan for a natural birth. Notice I said PLAN. I'm very aware of the fact that situations arise and circumstances happen where this may be an impossibility. But just as some women plan for an epidural and then can't get one because they progress too quickly, I'm planning on NOT getting one and then going with the flow. Whatever the outcome ends up being for me I find it fascinating to see people's reaction when they find out I'm not planning to have any medical interventions. Even better...ready?....we're planning a water birth! Common responses I have gotten have been "Good luck with that!" or "Famous last words." or "We'll see about that when that first contraction hits!" Now I'm thick skinned and pretty much roll my eyes at the negative comments but I would like to point out that this is MY choice and I certainly don't sit around criticizing people for their decisions. If a person has researched thoroughly and comes to a certain conclusion for them self then who am I to question that?


(trust me, you don't want to see the other Google images out there for water birth) heehee

There are exceptions to all these rules. If I were making plans that would blatantly harm myself or my child then I can see where a Doc might refuse service or why a friend would be critical. But that is not the case. We are simply making decisions that best suit our family. I'm loving that ole saying right about now:

If you don't have anything nice (or encouraging) to say, then don't say anything at all!"

A Total Collapse

Collapse:
1. to fall or cave in; crumble suddenly: The roof collapsed and buried the crowd.
2. to be made so that sections or parts can be folded up, as for convenient storage: This bridge table collapses.
3. to break down; come to nothing; fail: Despite all their efforts the peace talks collapsed.
4. to fall unconscious or as if unconscious or physically depleted, as from a stroke, heart attack, disease, or exhaustion.



I have been reading today the dozens of Facebook posts regarding 9/11/2001. It is interesting to read where people were when they found out. This morning, while waiting for my sleeping handsome to wake up, I watched a Lifetime TV special called "The 102 Minutes that changed America". It is a documentary of the entire event starting from the first plane hitting the tower all the way through to the collapsing of the second tower. The interesting part of this particular show is that it is a compilation of home videos, not the news coverage. I found myself wondering what and where all these "videographers" are today. What are they doing right now? Many of the footage is to the sound of their cries, weeping as they watched New York City's skyline change forever.



Meanwhile, 9/11/2001, 875 miles away from the twin towers, I sat with my family in the basement of our home watching everything unfold while my sick mom was upstairs being kept "in the dark" regarding the entire matter. She was in and out of awareness by that stage and we decided it was best to not alarm her with the tragedy of the attack. And while I was aware of its tragedy and of the loss it had left so many thousands of people, I realized this morning during the documentary that it never really had the chance to hit home with me.

You see, while the towers were collapsing in NY, my world was collapsing around me. Perspective is everything isn't it? For all of 2001 I saw the world through a very small looking glass entitled "cancer". The best way to describe it is to say that in 2001, watching it take place on the news was only slightly more real than watching a Hollywood blockbuster. Today watching it was as if it were happening right now in my own city. It was horrifying, tragic, unsettling and evil. Cruelty at its peak. Pain at its deepest. But had you asked me how I was doing during the majority of 2001, both before and after 9/11, I would use those same words to describe my world: horrifying, tragic, unsettling, evil, cruel and oh so very painful.

Don't get me wrong, I haven't been living the past decade with my head in the sand. I have watched countless 9/11 movies and documentaries. But it was only today, ten years later, that I recognized how I hadn't really experienced it's blow fully. You could probably compare it to childbirth with an epidural. The pressure and discomfort is there, but the drugs kill the extremity of the pain. I was emotionally numb, but cognitively aware.

Well, there is no point to this blog except to say that, as with everything else, where you are in life great affects how you view your present circumstance and the circumstances around you. Soon it will be time for my family to remember 9/29/2001 when our burning building collapsed for the final "boom" of a 13 month attack. I think I shall close with this:

The words of a Spanish worship song (translated)

It has been a long road
I can see I have come from there to here but I can't see how.
You have always been faithful

The road was long and hard
but it was worth every painful step
I see your hand
You have always been faithful